More Dating Tips...
Dating Tips to grow Confident
Dating successfully as both a man or woman,
one needs to increase the confidence levels. Certain things one can change quickly,
others need to be practised. Nothing will be achieved without trying, that's
for certain. If you never leave the house because you don't feel that great
about yourself, then unless you use Internet dating services only, no one will
come to you. Follow these tips to increase your confidence levels whether you
are a single man or woman :
First of all establish whether you are truly ready to meet someone new. If so
then proceed. If not, withdraw and take your time.
Make a list
addressing all the things you are not comfortable with about yourself. Be brutally
which things you think people may not like about you and make a list. Get a
second opinion too.
addressing the way you look and the way you dress.
things most easily changed which you think you can do better. Do not worry over
necessarily about what friends think
the most basic aspects of your looks, lifestyle and regime you will instantly
feel more confident. You will have a new you.
are comfortable with any changes you make.
you are in shape or attempting to be. If you are dieting or exercising remember
to be patient as these changes, though dramatic, will take a little while.
will grow as you feel better about yourself and others will sense it.
change the routines that drag you down. If you associate with people who criticize
you, lose them fast.
the things you wish you had always had the courage to do. Maybe a hobby, sport
or society. You will never look back.
enjoy the smaller things in life and give yourself time especially for these
things. If you like to cook for friends then start having dinner parties. Don't
wait for others.
second best. Start putting yourself first as priority number one.
and feeling good about yourself and widening your horizons your life has already
changed for the better and your confidence levels are on the up.
to be selective about what kind of person you really like. But by the same token
talk to everyone. The more people who are interested the higher your confidence
If someone has asked you out, accept.
some life goals as well as romantic goals. Other people love to associated with
driven and goal-orientated people. Confidence breeds confidence.
and ask someone out yourself who you like. Just do it and accept freely that
some people will say no. But many will also say yes.
like and love yourself for who you are and what you want from your life. Do
not allow negative family comments to influence you in any way.
with the nice people you meet along the way.
and look good at every opportunity. Be your own best advert.
that your confidence levels will become sky high by people saying yes to you.
This will happen when you select the right kind of dates for you so keep a realistic
approach to dating.
from anything you don't like and instill a positive mental attitude in everything
it and just keep going. Don't go back to what there was before. That's over.
Dating Tips For Being Romantic
Romance is at the heart of any dating
experience. If you don't consider yourself romantic then you are wrong. I don't
know of anyone on this planet who doesn't have the ability to fall in love.
Therefore if you can fall in love, you can be romantic too. Romance is not in
the grand gestures , it is in the small details. Women will often say that it
is the small things that matter. The small gestures but it is down to both men
and women to start being romantic. It is a two-way process and both parties
get an immense amount of pleasure from showing they care about someone. Yes
we would all love to have a romantic picnic on a deserted Caribbean beach with
the person of our dreams but romance begins closer to home with tips such as
Understand what romance means and why it is important and learn what romantic
aspects there are to your own character. No one has a heart made of stone, however
tough their exterior.
that romance is not the sole domain of women and that men who are romantic are
far more successful when dating.
nothing whatsoever to do with masculinity. In fact, being romantic can enhance
your masculinity and reputation with girls.
Not all women are naturally
romantic either but that doesn't have to be the case.
The key to being romantic
is thoughtfulness. So start being a little less thoughtless and selfish.
Communicate with your partner
on every level and anticipate their desires and needs.
Look at your partner when
they are talking and hold their gaze.
Learn that mood, location,
situation and ambience can heighten romance with dramatic effect.
Phone just to say hello,
I love you and surprise your partner.
Learn to say, I love you
and mean it. Don't say it ever, if you don't mean it.
Send them notes and small
cards telling them you are thinking of them.
Be spontaneous and do little
deeds that show you are thinking about them.
Start going for walks together,
whatever the weather.
Put your partner
first, particularly as a surprise with a spontaneous trip away.
and plan a surprise weekend away.
any time of the year, nice ones not just roses.
anniversaries and landmark days such as the day you first met and plan something.
the clues your partner gives you, such as things they like and books they read
and buy little gifts.
romantic. In a good relationship, romance never ends.
Putting yourself first is not romantic.
a letter and let them know that you love them and you mean it. People send far
few letters these days. Use good quality stationery too.
movies together and invest quality time doing the things you share and both
rather than buying them. It shows thought and inspiration.
partner on a picnic to the park or beach and prepare in advance without involving
them. Initiative illustrates romance nicely.
Don't be a
cold fish. Learn how to hug, cuddle and make physical contact. Touching without
sex is far more romantic but don't always hug without kissing!
date and learn to appreciate the finer qualities of kissing for its own sake.
when the occasion arises and show them special attention.
and do anything make your partner feel close to you.
Hold and hug
your partner in bed, especially after sex.
and converse about anything and everything.
partner to breathe and do separate things to heighten the sense of romance when
you are together.
If you don't
cook dinner for your date, start learning my friend. A surprise dinner with
candles is romantic.
gifts spontaneously that show great thought in what they enjoy. But not too
many otherwise it has the opposite effect.
romance is often about giving of yourself, even if it is simply your precious
time when you could have had other plans. Making your partner a priority is
Do things that make you
both laugh. Laughter and romance go hand in hand.
romance is in the small details and does not need to be expensive in any way.
I'd rather receive a handmade card any day than an expensive gift.
your partner's wishes and desires to show them you are listening to them and
that you care.
that romance is a two-way process though the romance you provide is simply giving
Be Mysterious and Enigmatic
Think about how many times you have
heard the expression "mysterious stranger". Think about how many times
you have heard someone say " I really want to get to know you more".
People are attracted to mystery. Being enigmatic, in other words, not knowing
what makes a person tick. Not knowing their thoughts. Not knowing everything
about them provokes instant challenge. A mysterious stranger is an attractive
person. You want to know more, you want to gain their attention you want to
be known to them. Someone you can read like an open book lacks that essential
quality and is therefore less attractive at first glance.
To be successful and attractive when
dating it pays to keep something in reserve. A busy person is an attractive
person because their life appears to be full, but you don't actually know that.
You simply wish to know more. And in trying to know more, you find an interest
level that you didn't find in those that offer you everything on a plate.
An enigmatic man has an air of mystery.
An enigmatic woman has the same. Your desire quotient is increased significantly
if you don't allow everything in your head to spill out to anyone within earshot.
Mystery is a challenge and we know that challenge is inherent in many dating
scenarios. By being a challenge to someone who wants to get to know you and
by making them work for it, so your chances of success in the dating game are
so much higher.
People often say that they meet someone
when they least expected it. This is partly because by being busy with their
every day routine they didn't notice that someone had taken an interest in them.
This is often in part because you are busy. You are promoting an air of desirability
because there is a mystery to you. Your life seems full and they are interested.
They want to know more about you.
It is worth noting however that enigma
and mystery are very different from being stubborn and moody. Not knowing about
your life and what makes you trick is one thing. Being downright secretive is
something completely different.
Here are some key tips to being enigmatic
At work or with friends, don't bore the office with every opinion you can muster.
Always keep something back
when relating a story - why and how and when are details for later.
Don't announce every plan you
make. Keep some things to yourself for a while.
Do not phone people, let them
Don't always return calls and
Keep your private life private.
It is not open for general discussion and debate.
Don't be too available but
don't explain why you are not available either.
Keep people guessing.
Making interested parties think
they are no the only person interested in you ups the ante and increases your
Don't reply to emails and text
messages at weekends.
If you are using a dating service,
don't reply to emails and messages at weekends.
Be busy without giving details
of what you are doing.
Break plans occasionally without
giving too much away.
When you do meet up be entertaining
and fascinating without giving every detail away.
Never discuss ex partners and
refuse to be drawn on the subject.
Use an evasive enigmatic smile
to answer questions to great effect.
Even when people beg you to
know more, keep them guessing.
Never be too available, your
diary is always semi-full as far as anyone is concerned.
Mention you were with 'some
people' but say little else on the subject when relating a tale.
Let people do the running and
don't do the chasing unless necessary.
Have different groups of friends
who you don't mix together.
To be highly effective, create
the desire initially then ration it afterwards. They will treat you like a drug,
craving more due to the great times they have when they do eventually get to
Learn key expressions like
"oh I have been really busy", "wow its been crazy", "I
have lots of plans this week", "my diary is really full" and
"Oh I have been doing so many things" without giving more away.
Be a challenge and never be
an open book. Make people work to get to know you.
Being mysterious takes practice and takes time to get right. Once you do
so and are comfortable in not being in constant communication with people they
will soon desire to know more. It is a fine balancing trick however because
if you are too evasive, people will tire of you and move on.
Essential Tips When You Have
From time to time, relationships
go badly wrong. Most of us have been abandoned by a partner at some stage ion
life. If not then you are very lucky. It is easier to leave someone than be
dumped yourself but if you have been left, then you need to take your time and
have a period of mourning before dating again. If a major relationship has ended
it will take some time to recover and anyone who suggests you just bounce back
is a fool as they are not in touch with the reality of the situation.
Do rely on good friends and do find
time for yourself but ultimately it is time that will sort things out for you.
Distance from the event and plenty of thinking and pondering will help put things
in perspective but I will say that it is generally the case that that particular
relationship didn't work out because there are far better things in store for
you. If that relationship didn't end, how would you ever go on to meet Mr. or
Accept what has happened and do not try to win your ex back.
Never go back to someone once
they have left you, it won't work.
Take some time out from socializing
to get to grips with what has happened.
Make time for yourself to do
Never allow your ex to suggest
you will both be good friends.
Don't get in touch with, or
try and see your ex to sort things out as you are fooling yourself. Once someone
has taken such a major step it is usually for good.
Remove anything in your apartment
that reminds you of them. Have a spring clean.
Do not allow your ex back into
your house, it's over.
If you had shared friends, it
will be a difficult period. Be prepared that some people will fall by the way
Do rely on your best friends
for comfort and they should allow you to talk as much as you need.
As soon as you can, come to
terms with the loss and realize that you are not going to be single again forever.
That will not happen.
Do everything you can to rebuild
your self confidence and demonstrate to yourself what your ex lost.
Never blame yourself. If someone
left you it was purely their decision. If they couldn't communicate with you
prior to the event it was their own failing.
If your ex was unfaithful if
has nothing to do with your own bedroom prowess. More their lack of self-respect.
Though it is a powerful mood,
do not harbor grudges and desire revenge too much. Hurting someone brings you
down to their level. The best revenge is in bouncing back and demonstrating
how much they actually lost.
Learn from the failed relationship,
not only about yourself but about what you will never accept again in future
Lose the photographs. There
is no comfort to be found there.
Do allow yourself to be angry
for a short time. In doing so you will feel empowered to move on.
Being rejected hurts so don't
allow anyone to tell you otherwise.
When you are ready do start
socializing again even if dating is some way off.
Don't start a new relationship
on the rebound, it is highly likely to fail and you will hurt the new person
Hold your head up high and think
only of positive things where possible.
Sometimes it is necessary to
move location or job to recover. If this is the case, it will herald a fresh
Don't email/phone your ex or
look for reasons because you will often be lied too. They will try and spare
your feelings (laughably) by avoiding what they really think.
Take a vacation if you can and
get a wider sense of perspective. This includes meeting new people and making
Don't go to your old haunts
secretly hoping to run into your ex. That is a recipe for disaster and will
prolong the healing process.
Eventually, do treat yourself
and buy new clothes and even change your image slightly to get a fresh feel
for things. A new haircut can do wonders and instill a new sense of confidence.
Be patient and take your time
with anything. Ultimately in the years that follow you will feel strong and
confident and will go on to have a beautiful relationship. Just thank your lucky
stars it wasn't with the fool who just walked out the door.
Never make rash decisions in
the days after being dumped. This is not the time for clarity of judgment. Your
friends will help you.
Rules of Dating
The problem with the dating game
is that there are dating rules to follow and most of them we forget as we grow
older. You see, when we are young our fellow friends at school and college reinforce
the way things should be done when dealing with potential dates. Yes you should
wear that, no you never say that, yes you should do this, but no you never do
that. Then we grow up. For a time we are completely aware of the rules of dating
and we practice those rules every time we meet someone. But then we meet someone
perhaps, fall in love and have a relationship. Little by little the things we
learned over our formative years when dealing with the fairer sex are lost and
are in fact unlearned.
Then one day we are unwillingly thrust back onto the dating scene only to find
that we start behaving like 12 year olds. We call our dates too often, we are
constantly available, we wear the wrong clothes, laugh at bad jokes like a fool,
date the wrong people and generally get it all badly wrong. Then we get hurt
or taken for a ride. Of course there will be some of you reading this that are
the very epitome of dating sophistication, but the truth is, when you lose your
heart you also lose your head. If you are going to date well then give these
key do's and don'ts of dating some serious consideration. Dating rules are very
important if you want to win and keep your perfect match.
Rules - DO's
try to look your best and be punctual on dates.
Do have fun
when dating. I know the subject of Mr. or Miss Right is serious but dating is
fun too so keep it that way.
Do flatter and
compliment your date on the way they look and the things they wear. People tend
to go to a lot of effort on a date (hopefully) so being told that you are looking
good is a nice thing to hear.
and interesting. As the Pet Shop Boys once said, I was never bored because I
was never being boring" or something similar. You get my drift.
Do tell someone
if you are not interested in dating them again. Being lied to and hopes kept
alive is an evil and malicious act (yes I mean it that strongly). If you don't
want to see someone again then let them know that in the nicest possible way
Do date the
type of people you like and are attracted to, whatever your friends may say.
Approval by your peers doesn't prove a thing.
Do stay positive
even when dates don't end well. It is most certainly true that you will date
a few frogs before you find a prince. Along the way you will meet some nice
people too and make some good contacts possibly.
Dating is a
creative diversion, it requires concentration and energy so when you are dating
keep some plans in the forefront of your mind and allow dating to take you to
places you always wanted to visit within your own city.
Do make dating
happen for yourself. People will not come and ring your bell from nowhere. Dating
requires positive action so go out there and meet people, as many people as
you can. Practice your chat and flirting on shop workers, bar attendants, anywhere
and everywhere. Being nice to people is very sexy and great fun.
yourself with positive like minded people who are also dating. Think about the
girls from Sex and the City and how they assist each other in dating and matters
of romance. Negative friends who don't condone the dating scene or don't understand
it will only help lower your own expectations and make you feel negative.
Dating Rules - DON'T
Never call someone more than once a day unless they reply. Desperation and instability
are huge turn offs.
the people who you usually find dump you. You may be generally attracted to
bastards but that will not get you anywhere except hurt.
For men, never
ever be late for a date, even if you have a very good reason. Women should never
be kept waiting and should never have to seat themselves - ever.
lies to your date or pretend anything about your life that isn't true. If this
is your perfect match for God's sake do not allow it to be ruined by some silly
lie told early on.
Never be too
available. Being available every night of the week and at the end of every whimsical
phone call or possible rendezvous means you are making yourself uninteresting
and a possible doormat. Be busy, be unavailable generally and be interesting.
away too much about yourself at the start. People love enigma and mystery. Revealing
to your new date your inner most secrets on date number two will quickly ruin
everything. A small bit at a time people.
other people out when you are with your date. You may think you are subtle ,
your date will be heading for the door. Have the courtesy of concentrating solely
on your date when you are with them.
Don't be rude
or get drunk on a date. Courtesy and manners will get you everywhere.
your personal safety when dating. Have a cellular phone and keep it charged,
tell your friends where you are going and be safe. Date at first in well known
public places and never ever be pushed into anything you are not happy with.
out personal information like home phone numbers and addresses on a first date.
Keep them until you are sure of your date and the future possibilities.
sex on a first date if you ever want to see your new date again. If you like
them and are interested in them, sex on a first date will usually ruin everything.
Its too much too soon and is not the way of romance. Believe me I am 100% certain
a married person. They will not leave their husbands or wives for you (except
exceptionally rarely). Married dating is the sure fire way to misery, lies,
deceit, lack of self respect and loss of romance. If you are married, separate
first. If you are single, don't be a shoulder to cry on, you deserve far better.
Self Promotion and Dating
Life, my friend, is not fair. Instead
life is one giant advert and in your case you are the creative director and
subject of your own advert. No one else is going to do it for you. Get it right
and you reap the rewards. Get it wrong and you will be ignored and forgotten.
And such is the premise of life for the single dater. Life shouldn't be like
this, people should love us for who we are and what we are. They should be able
to see our hidden depths immediately and focus in on everything that we know
to be good about ourselves. But like any product in the world today, you don't
know about it unless you sell it.
Self promotion begins with the basic
product for sale - you. If it is no good, no one will buy into it. You may be
able to fool the odd one or two but that's about it. So the first step has to
be to sort out your product and make sure it is as appealing as possible. Whilst
I get lots of comments about how one has matured and is able to look below the
surface, the surface is the first thing we encounter so it needs to be presentable.
You have to remember when promoting
yourself that first appearances count, however much you hate that truth. And
worse still another cliché, people do judge a book by its cover. Almost
everything in our daily lives is marketed to us and its rare we get much for
free (well this site being one of those rare exceptions!). So in short, you
need to go into the bathroom and strip and take a good hard look at yourself.
Once you have done that go and put your best clothes on and take another long
hard look. The be ruthless about your judgment. You will never see yourself
as others do but do be brave enough to ask closest friends what they think too.
Now at this juncture you must concentrate.
You already know your good and bad points but be realistic, I know people should
love you for everything you are, but lets get to that later. First of all, what
can you change about yourself that you can live with and that is possible and
that will help you appeal to your chosen market. Don't sell yourself short though.
You want to be appealing to as wider an audience as feasible. The also make
sure you know your market. If you are 50 and overweight you may not appeal to
21 year olds however much you wish you did. People generally date within a 10
year date range maximum. Beyond that and you are generally in rarity territory.
Okay so you know what can be fixed
and you know your market and so the next thing is to go and do something about
it. Good intentions never solved anything so get on that treadmill, join that
diet class, get yourself out shopping, do get your hair cut and sort out your
image. Once you have upgraded and maintained your image, your self confidence
will soar. In doing so you will believe in the product you are offering - you
!. If you believe in yourself you can do anything. Positive mental attitude
is the most ignored and underrated thing you can achieve. You can turn yourself
around in days and weeks buy feeling good about yourself.
Okay so a few weeks down the line
you have recreated your product and you have selected your market and you know
it will sell so now its time to go out there and market yourself. Self promotion
is the name of the game. In the same was that faint heart never won fair lady,
so staying at home in front of the TV never won anyone. Unless you talk to as
many people as possible and socialize and join clubs and attend social functions
and parties and events you won't meet people. If you don't meet people you won't
be able to make impressions on them and allow them to see what you have to offer.
Marketing and self promotion isn't just about image, its a numbers game. The
more people you meet, the more chance you will encounter someone who wants your
product - you!
You will find it easier to approach
people because you believe in yourself and the more people you meet who express
an interest so the more you will feel good. It is a self fulfilling prophecy.
Keep at it and you will never look back. But whilst being sociable and meeting
people keep in mind that your self promotion plan has a goal. That goal may
be a new relationship. It may be many dates , it may be company or it may even
be marriage and children. But whatever it is, part of your overall promotion
plan must be to set attainable goals and then go after them. Everything in life
takes time and effort to achieve. I know to all of us, some people appear to
have it all, but apart from looks which we can't control, the difference between
us all is largely down to pure effort. Talents don't mean much unless we use
Here are some common traits in successful,
They are fun.
They are reliable.
They make people feel good.
They have a good sense of humor.
They are organized.
They are confident.
They have direction.
They are good listeners and
They have goals and ambition.
are dynamic and spontaneous.
And remember that if things do take
time, your life has already changed for the better and you are well on your
way to meeting the person of your dreams. I am sorry to suggest that we view
ourselves using the language of commerce as it is somewhat tasteless but it
is a simple truth about our modern society. Learn from the world about you to
make yourself the most attractive you can be.
When you promote yourself to people when dating try and
do the following to assist you in being a successful dater:
nice to all the people you meet.
Meet as many people as you
Learn to be sociable and willing.
Learn to smile at people naturally.
Be kind and considerate and
Learn to listen and be open
Lean to like yourself.
Change the things you don't
like about yourself.
Give yourself a makeover and
be ruthless if necessary.
stay indoors unless necessary.
Learn about what makes people
popular and copy their methods.
Try to be happy and content
with who you are as a person.
Remove negative aspects and
influences in your life permanently.
Set attainable goals for yourself.
H ave a mental image of how
you see yourself in 3 years time and work towards it every day.
Don't suffer fools gladly though.
You are not a fool either.
Flourishing Your Love through
What began centuries ago in China as a way of interpreting
the natural world to create more efficient agricultural systems and even study
astronomy to understand the passage of time is an age old institution named
Feng Shui. Through the ages feng shui (pronounced Fung Shway) has evolved due
to superstition and folklore into a belief system with five distinct components:
Wealth, Health, Fame, Career and Love.
By understand the basics, we can control
these areas of our lives by choosing meaningful symbols and images which are
related to these areas and placing these objects in very specific areas of the
house. The key principal here is that everything is connected energetically
which means that your thoughts, feelings and behavior are influenced by your
surroundings. Feng Shui masters have got this down to an art form. There are
so many details and specifics of feng shui that I would highly recommend getting
a book on it for your own knowledge and because it is so fascinating. What is
interesting enough is that I found it to be very similar to the Wicca beliefs
that are practiced in the west. There are many people who swear by the benefits
of Feng Shui in the home.
Let’s get down to the fun part.
You can Feng Shui your house for love. Turn that pad into the love shack to
attract love, keep love going strong and keep the sex drive on high gear in
the bedroom. What you want to do here is create good chi (good energy) and get
rid of any sha chi (harmful energy).
The area of your house that represents
your love life is the southwest corner of your home. According to the experts,
if this corner has good chi, the marriage or love aspirations of the home dwellers
will be positively energized but if it has bad chi, let’s just say that
you won’t be getting any for a while; and that is putting it nicely according
to these experts.
The element that represents love is Earth
and so putting a rock, crystal or boulder in the southwest corner of your home
you will activate this good chi. Finally you need to energize this earth element
with other objects in the love corner. These objects can be crystal (Rose Quartz
is suggested), large and round decorative pots and jars, peacock feathers, silk
or real flowers, a globe, a symbol of the sun, a Chinese love knot made of red
rope which symbolizes undying love, love birds in a pair but never single or
ducks in a pair but never single, rose oil and two pink or red candles burning
which is known as the “tantric twins”.
All of these objects have ties with the
earth element but you do not have to use all of them. It is also said that wood
is a harmful element to the earth element so no wood should be here. No dried
flowers as well because it could signify the death of a romantic relationship.
And just in case you are planning to buy a new house or rent a new apartment,
there should be no kitchen or bathroom in the southwest corner of the house.
If there is a bathroom, use plants to drown out the sha chi but a kitchen is
a bigger problem since a kitchen in this area symbolizes infidelity on either
The bedroom can also be worked on. It
should be well lit instead or dark and dreary. There should be no plants in
the bedroom because plants will bring excess yang (male) energies to the bedroom
which could increase his libido and cause a wandering and lustful eye towards
younger women. There should be no TV’s and no mirror by the bed as they
cause an intrusion within a relationship. Hang a rose quartz crystal over the
southwest corner of your bed.
When looking for love, feng shui-ists
say a man should decorate with more yin (femininity) in mind while a female
should decorate with more yang. This causes a healthy balance and will attract
the opposite sex.